When I hit a certain age I realised that there would be no man in my life because I was a huge closeted lesbian. Up until that point I had always believed (and been told) that I would marry a man (most likely a tradie like my dad) who would be responsible for all the home maintenance tasks whilst I would be relegated to the cooking & cleaning like a good little 1950’s housewife. How wrong everyone was. Growing up, despite the fact that I was a huge tomboy with an interest in most activities that were viewed as stereotypically male I never got taught the handy DIY skills I would most likely have learned had I been born a boy. It wasn’t until I asked my dad to teach me how to use a drill at the age of 19 that I started my quest to become a DIY lesbian. If I am honest the genuine motivation for learning these skills was due to the fact that I knew I would never marry a man and as such, I would need to be able to fend for myself in the realm of home maintenance tasks. These are the skills that I believe any woman but especially lesbians should learn:
Skill 1:
Using a cordless drill. This is the most important tool around the house for anyone. Man, Lesbian, woman, or child, it does not matter. Every person on earth should know how to use this tool. Once you master how to drill pilot holes and drive screws in you will be able to hang those pictures, fix that fence paling and install new curtain rods plus so much more. There are many ways you can learn this skill but the best way is by physically having a family member or friend teach you in person. It’s a lot easier to learn by actually drilling through some practice wood while your dad mansplains than watching a tutorial on it.
Skill 2:
How to Paint. Painting is often an undervalued skill that people think is easy. Newsflash…it is not. Like anything you have to learn the process and the first bedroom you paint will probably be your worst. However it is something that with the correct type of paint and equipment you can do a pretty good job. Don’t be scared to attempt a DIY paint job in your home because you can always get a professional to come in and paint over it if your attempt is not up to scratch. Ask for advice at the paint stores they will be able to guide you through the type of paint to use on the ceilings, walls and doors/skirting boards and what equipment you need. Watch youtube video’s on the process and ideally call up a friend who has painted before to come help teach you. You will save yourself thousands if you can perform a decent internal paint job on your current or future house.
Skill 3
3. Changing your own Oil/Oil filter and Air Filter. Learning basic car maintenance is an absolute must and it’s not just about the money! Imagine looking at your mechanic receipt and actually knowing what you just paid for! The two main things I do myself are the Oil and the Air Filter but the more you can learn the better. If you have a family member who can teach you or online resources, or you could attend a basic car maintenance course. Who doesn’t love a lady who can lift the bonnet and know what’s going on underneath it?
Skill 4
How to measure and cut. Using a tape measure is probably something that you would think most people just know how to do without being taught. Hah, I didn’t. Maybe others do but I required another mansplaining lesson from dad on how to read and use the tape measure. It is quite easy though once you get the hang of it. Once you have mastered how to measure and cut timber you have the basics down pat. You can use a handsaw or a circular saw/drop saw depending on how in-depth you wish to go on your learning journey to become a DIY master lesbian.
Skill 5
Changing a tap washer. A leaky tap issue is usually quite a simple fix of changing the tap washer. However, this can be an expensive excercise if you have to call a plumber out to do it. This is one you can consult the youtube teacher and it will show you how easy it really is to do this on your own if you have a few basic tools.
There you have it ladies. These are the skills all lesbians should learn. So ring up your dad, pop, uncle, lesbian friend, soccer mum, whoever it is that you know can teach you these things and ask them for a maintenance lesson. Everyone is capable of learning anything so don’t be scared to try. Powertools are only scary if you don’t know how they work, once you learn the skill you will never forget how.