If you were like me and grew up in a small town where there was only one out lesbian that you knew of, it can be hard to imagine a large dating pool of potential partners. Only 8% of women identify as lesbian or bisexual (or is it more now? Can someone let me know?) our options are much more limited than that of our straight counterparts. It is hard enough to meet a suitable partner when you have 50% of the population but when you only have 8% it can seem impossible to find the right woman.
These are some of the tried and tested ways to meet other queer women. It can be daunting to put yourself out there and make it known that you are interested in dating women. Women are conditioned to not make the first move. This is obviously a problem for lesbians and can sometimes result in the ultimate lesbian stand-off, where you both are into each other but both too scared to make a move. Ahh, I wish we all had the confidence of a straight white man but alas, all is not lost.
Ways to meet other lesbians/queer women
1. Join a sports team- preferably Soccer, AFL, Rugby league or Softball/baseball. (Avoid netball at all costs) No offence to netball but let’s face it, it is a straight girl’s game. If there are any netball lesbians out there please make yourself known to me as I am yet to meet one. On the other hand, sports like Soccer and football have long had a strong queer presence in the women’s teams. If you can join a specifically queer sports team that is even better. That way if you are trying to meet someone it is already explicitly clear from the outset.
2. Get on a dating site. Put yourself out there! Online dating is fun and some of the best relationships start from a bumble date or even god forbid tinder (set on women-only obviously) Of course you may have to scroll through 5 thousand couples looking for their “unicorn” or a “third” but amongst all the crap there are often some really great gay girls just looking for someone to binge-watch OITNB with them. The biggest benefit of lesbian apps or general dating apps set to lesbian preferences is that there is no question about people’s orientation. It will usually be all laid out in the bio what people identify as and who/what they are looking for.
3. Join a woodworking class. Now this one can be hit and miss. Yes, I have actually done this in the hopes of meeting someone and also because I love power tools. (Classic stereotype I know but it is true) If you are lucky you could meet some hot, tattoed lesbian who knows how to wield a power drill if you are unlucky you will spend the whole time surrounded by retired old dudes. (Not that there is anything wrong with retired old dudes, dad if you are reading, love you…..just kidding I 100% know he is not reading this)
4. At gay events. Pride events and visibly queer activities are a great way to meet other queer women. If you live in a city it will be much easier than if you are in a regional area. Make the effort to go out. Grab your queer girl gang, maybe even a straight bestie, and go out to a dyke night event or a pride party.
5. Meetup- the site meetup does have lesbian events listed. It can be a little bit daunting but you never know who you might meet.
6. At Bunnings (aka Home depot for you American folk). What lesbian does not love a little bit of DIY. I fucking LOVE IT. If you are patrolling the aisles at Bunnings in your work pants and tank top you will send off queer vibes like an emergency flare. Who doesn’t have a fantasy of asking a hot butch which type of paint should you buy only to end up exchanging numbers and living the next 60 years in domestic bliss? Okay maybe getting a bit ahead of ourselves here but no matter whether you meet someone or not I think we can all agree, home renovation is an integral part of lesbian culture.
7. At the gym or fitness classes. Joining a gym purely with the purpose of meeting women is probably not the best reason. You will probably be more likely to meet a gym bro who stares at his muscles in the mirror for the whole hour he is there. However the gym is a good place to meet all different types of people. If you spot a girl who is giving off queer vibes maybe jump on the treadmill next to her and think about striking up a conversation.
8. Join an LGBT facebook group for your area. There are so many different types of LGBT facebook groups. I am in a LGBT fitness group and one for LGBT events in my city. They are out there so join them.
However you meet your gay girl friends or girlfriend, what is important is to have the confidence to put yourself out there. As my mum always says, “you can’t meet someone by sitting in your room, he is not under your bed” Obviously at the time she used to say this she thought I was straight and there was a reason I did not want to meet a “HIM.” Jeez mum you missed the mark on that one.