Every bisexual, lesbian or queer woman has by now, seen the new TV show a League of their own (ALOTO.) This show has unleashed some unrivaled lesbian thirst for pretty much all of the characters in this series. There are swarms of baby dykes on tiktok who are frothing over these baseball gals, whether they are queer in real life or not. Let’s take a look at what your ‘ALOTO’ crush says about your personality.
- Greta Gill is played by the drop-dead gorgeous D’arcy Carden. Greta is a tall, confident bombshell who plays as the first basewoman for the Rockford Peaches. She is a lipstick lesbian with style, swagger, and a dyke confidence that we can all dream of having. She is tough on the outside but soft and vulnerable on the inside once you really get to see the real Greta. With some slight mind games and manipulation, but let’s face it most lesbians don’t mind being slightly gaslit by a high femme top. If you love Greta the most then you will probably agree that lipstick lesbians are your thing. You also probably don’t mind the old adage femme in the streets….butch in the you know what… (if you don’t know google it)
2. Carson Shaw played by Abbi Jacobson. If you love Carson, you like the girl next door with a sporty edge type of dyke. You know the type, most commonly referred to as a ‘chapstick lesbian’. The type who is soft and genuine and usually comes out later in life because she just “never realised she liked women.” She probably plays lots of different sports and wears a caps and sweatpants a lot when she leaves the house. Carson needs a woman to look after her and show her the ropes of the lesbian lifestyle and you are the right woman for the job.
3. Max Chapman played by Chante Adams is a talented pitcher aspiring to finally fulfill her dream of being a professional baseball player. If Max is your girl then you know you like the power lesbians. A woman who will stop at nothing to achieve her dreams. These ladies are that the top of their field in whatever they do and usually, their wardrobes contain a lot of Bette Porter-style pant’s suits. Just like Max, they never stop hustling to achieve their dreams and you find that such a turn-on.
4. Lupe Garcia played by Roberta Colindrez. If you love Lupe you know you love them, players. No not baseball players, lesbian players. Thinking along the lines of the “Shanes” of the world. You chase girls who are unattainable, emotionally unavailable, or just downright bad for you. But we all know that this type of player is always a lot of fun in many ways. So yes you might get your heart broken a few times but it will have been worth it. I mean she will probably feel bad about breaking your heart….it just won’t stop her from doing it.
5. Jo De Luca played by Melanie Field. Jo is your classic soft butch lesbian. You like a woman that knows how to look after you. You know Jo would always go to bat (no baseball pun intended) for the people she cares about and that is your type of girl. The way she looks out for Greta, the way she is stoic in the face of challenges like getting bashed by the police. You like a girl who can be your solid rock to lean on when the times get tough and who will take care of you when you need it most.
6. Jess McCready played by Kelly McCormack. Jess is the strong silent type, taciturn if you will. You know that Jess would easily throw you on the back of her Harley and drive you off into the sunset with a cigarette hanging out the side of her mouth. Not necessarily a bad girl though just a girl that lives her life in the way she wants to. If Jess is your girl, you probably are the nurturing type of lesbian. You like to look after your girl and she appreciates it. I also totally get gold star lesbian vibes from Jess…but maybe that is just me?
7. Shirley played by Kate Berlant. If you have a crush on Shirley then girl you need help. You probably have a track record of falling for your goofy but gorgeous straight best friend who is boy crazy and a complete 0 on the Kinsey scale. Trust me I have been down this road. As lesbians, we will always appreciate straight girls but they are like sharks. You should only truly get close to them when you are in a full steel reinforced shark cage with no possible way of getting hurt. If you so much as even put your hand through the bars to touch them they will bite it off in one fell swoop. Bad metaphor but you get the idea, stick to having crushes on the gay girls and trust me you will thank me later.
