As any young lesbian who watched the L word in her late teens/early 20’s on secret DVD’s I realised how much I pined for a gay girl gang of my own. When I was first coming out as a lesbian all of my friends were wonderful but they were all straight. Every single one. They were extremely supportive of me and for that I will always be grateful but a little part of me wished that I had had a close gay friend to confide in during that stage of my life. Someone who could really understand what I was going through.
As I got older and moved away from my hometown to a larger city did end up finding my tribe as they say. There are five of us in our queer little gang, some lesbian, some bisexual and one just figuring herself out. It has been so amazing to socialise with other women who really do have an understanding of the challenges and also the positives of being a lesbian woman.
As I have gotten more ingratiated into lesbian culture and spent a lot more time only around lesbian women, when I go and hang out with my straight friends the contrast is stark. In a group setting where I am the only lesbian woman surrounded by my friends, their friends and all their boyfriends/husbands I sometimes feel a bit like a fish out of water.
It doesn’t seem to matter how close I am to my straight girl friends, there will always be a fundamental disconnect in their understanding of my life. They ask me questions that only a straight girl would ask. Say things like “dating a woman would be sooo much easier” HAH yeah right only a straight girl would ever make that statement. I will always love my straight friends but I feel lucky to have found my gay girl gang.
My gay girl gang is made up of a group of 5 including myself & my girlfriend. Amongst this gang, two of the other girls are also in a relationship. For the sake of privacy I have changed their names but I will call them Brittany, Claire & Kayla. They are all vegetarian, so so much for thwarting the lesbian stereotypes.
Brittany and Claire are both studying to be speech pathologists and Kayla is a high school English teacher. What is it with lesbians and social related jobs? I guess we just love helping people. Anyway in true “what L word character are you quiz” fashion I am going to assign each of my girl gang their L word counter part. Let’s start with Brittany.
Brittany is a blonde sweetheart who I would say is the Shane. She is off the market now but back in the day she would have had all the gay girls chasing after her. Brittany and Claire met at university and they are such a gorgeous couple. I keep telling them that if they started a youtube channel they could be the next rose and rosie.
That brings me to Claire. Claire is also studying to be a speech pathologist and I would assign her as the Carmen. She is absolutely goorrgeeous and the creative type. If you need something sewn or a how to cook a dish, she probably knows how to do it. She knows what is what in the realm of queer culture and she is an all round great person.
Kayla- ahh I have a special spot in my heart for Kayla. She is the Alice of our little gay girl gang. The funny one who is always loads of fun to be around. She is always good for a story about something queer related and is quite the activist in the school she teaches at. These Gen Z kids are so lucky to have LGBT teachers who can be role models for them where in previous years there have been none out about their sexuality.
Myself and my partner *Anna*, I would say we are the Bette and Tina of the group. Not just because Anna is a bisexual. Also sometimes she is a bit more of a Jenny but If I call her the Jenny she might dump me because we all know nobody wants to be the Jenny. Anna is a special education teacher and she is the nurturing type. You know that she will always look after you.
As for me, I am probably the Bette. The one who is interested in money and wears corporate jumpsuits to work. Although I promise I am not a bitch the way Bette kinda is sometimes. As fun as it is the assign L Word characters to my own little gay girl gang that was not the point of this article. The point is that until you find your lesbian tribe it can be an isolating feeling to be the only one of your friends who is not straight. It doesn’t discount the importance of our straight friendships it just means that if you can put yourself out there to meet other gay women purely for friendship, it is 100% worth it.